“For pity, sir, find out that bee
Which bore my love away.
I'll seek him in your bonnet brave”
- from “The Mad Maid's Song”, 1648 by Robert Herrick.
There is a phrase in English “To have a bee in your bonnet” which loosely means to be preoccupied or obsessed with an idea. Though within the context of this article I’d say that “obsessed” may be too strong a word. However, we all have ideas of things we’d like to do and see and experience and explore. Some of them may be acceptable to discuss in polite company, and others may include sexual fetishes or other private thoughts we’d feel less inclined to admit to thinking about. Maybe you've always fantasized about playing the guitar or maybe you've always fantasized about being playfully spanked by your lover during foreplay. There are more extreme examples, but I’d prefer not to distract the reader from the real point of this piece. The more of these unexpressed and unexplored bonnet bees we have in our heads, the louder and more disquieting their buzzing.
It seems to me that the average adult goes through life with a head full of bees. If you asked them why they have not yet explored these ideas or found a way to express them, they’d supply you with a long list of excuses. Usually including, but not limited to, “I don’t have time”, “I don’t have the funds”, “What would the neighbours say?”, “No one would understand”. I’m certainly not suggesting acting immediately upon every impulse, but what I’m talking about are ideas that you've had buzzing around in your head for years and years. Sometimes they buzz very loudly and sometimes their buzzing is drowned out by more immediate concerns, but they seem to be persistent and not going away on their own accord any time soon.
At some point in my journey the “Silent Observer” or “Still Awareness” or “Higher Self Perspective” or whatever you want to call it became dominant. This has over the years given me the opportunity to observe my thoughts and the general movement of energy within me with a certain degree of objectivity. What became apparent to me is that these bonnet bees that go unexplored and unexpressed for years begin to cloud over our potential for clarity and a greater sense of well-being. They are more destructive than most people realize.
In terms of the energies we hold within our bodies, these too can feel unbalanced by interactions which have been left incomplete or unfinished. I think we've all experienced situations where we are connecting deeply with another and are suddenly interrupted and the interaction is cut short. That uncomfortable feeling of the energy exchange being left open-ended and incomplete. This is a small example, and in reality energies can be left unbalanced within us from circumstances far more complex than an interrupted conversation. I’ll give you an example that many people would be able to recognize in today’s digital world. Though interacting and connecting online has opened up the world in countless sublime and extraordinary ways, there is a level of energy exchange that occurs when you find yourself in the same physical space as another that does not seem to be able to be achieved digitally. It may cost the price of an air ticket to meet in person, but I assure you the balancing of that particular energy within you will be well worth the effort and expense.
My point is that we should not underestimate the negative impact bonnet bees have on our sense of well-being. If it is not harmful to ourselves or others, or illegal or in opposition to our beliefs or higher knowing, then don’t wait. Find a way of exploring, expressing and releasing your bonnet bees. The clarity and inner spaciousness that will emerge when those pesky bees are exorcised is delicious and more than worth any effort or expense or twinge of embarrassment that may accompany the releasing of them. You may very well find that after your first guitar lesson or spanking that this particular activity is not for you after all. That is okay, at least the bee is dead and the absence of it’s incessant buzzing will be replaced by a greater sense of clarity and inner peace.